Are We or Aren't We?

So Josh and I are engaged... I think. How do you not know if you're engaged, you ask? Well, it all started a month or so ago.

Josh and I decided early on it our relationship that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and because of this decision I began to plan our wedding. I've been planning my wedding since I was six, so extending my myriad and ever changing fantasies to include Joshua didn't inconvenience me in the least. One of my best friends got married this past September and one of her lovely sorority sisters is getting married this fall. My cousin is having a destination wedding in Hawaii and another cousin of mine got married last summer in Florida. It seems for the last year all I've heard about is weddings, and contrary to popular belief, I'm not complaining. I once wanted to (and kinda still do...) open my own wedding planning business. But back to the topic at hand...

I rationalized planning our wedding before he actually proposed by telling myself that when we actually did become engaged it would save me a lot of headaches. Well it just snowballed from there. We went from discussing (hypothetically) who we would have in the wedding party to where we would hold the ceremony and reception (once again, hypothetically) to actually setting a wedding date. (not hypothetical) That's right, Joshua and I have a wedding date but we aren't engaged. At least not officially.

He asked one night, but I didn't think he was serious. Actually, I thought he asked because he was trying to make me feel better after we had one of our spats. He was serious. (Oops...) He says that proposal has expired and that I have to wait for the new one. Speaking of proposals, that brings me to our next stumbling block; engagement rings or to be more specific, the price tag attached to them. We've looked around a little bit but we haven't found a ring yet that meets my very specific requirements. (listed below)

1. It can't sit up off my finger too high. As I will eventually be a paramedic and have to wear gloves all the time I can't have a setting on my ring that will tear my gloves.
2. It can't cost an arm and two legs. We don't have those extra limbs just lying around that we can spare.
3. I have to like it and as of right now, I haven't found anything that I really like.

We've toyed around with the idea of using my Grandmother's engagement ring either until we find one we like and can afford or just use it in lieu of buying an engagement ring. My mom has already approved that idea.

Anyway, back to the "engagement"... The bottom line is we are getting married and we do have a definite date for the marriage, but due to some family issues and some financial issues and basically any other kind of issue you can think of, we aren't engaged yet. He hasn't proposed (again) and I haven't accepted. But he will eventually and so will I. That's all that matters... Right?